Cafe Vs Kopitiam Part 2

Now for the answers to the kopitiams' jargons, that is if you are curious.
"Tiao hir" is actually Chinese tea.
And "Clementi" is Lemon tea
While "Tart giu" is Milo
And "Siu dai" is less sugar
Last but not least "Kar dai" is more sugar

And I still dunno what is the kopitiams' jargon for Horlicks! Argghh
Someone said it is ho hO HO. But I cannot buy that. Cos I cannot imagine the uncle or auntie goin 1 ho hO HO(in ascending pitch)

P.S. Someone just told me Red bull is "Ang gu"

Cafe Vs Kopitiam

This evening I was idling at starbucks with two significant people after a fruitful extravaganza at Comex.
And somewhat our conversation on cuppa led to the kopitians' jargons.
Enough of latte, mocha and cappucino.
Now let me test you.
What is "tiao hir"?
What is "clementi"?
What is "tart giu"?
What is "siu dai"?
What is "kar dai"?
(Answers will be revealed in the next entry)

P.S. Can someone tell me what is the kopitiams' jargon for Horlicks?

Entering Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Yesterday I took my entry exam.
As they ushered me into the magnificant hall, I was greeted by the in house vampires, who took my blood with their fangs. I heard them whispered, saying that it was to ensure that i am not a muggle.
Thereafter they put me on the lie detector. I supposed it was for the same purpose.
Then the people from the Ministry of Magic asked me a series of questions. Such as can I run a kilometre? Can I climb the overhead bridge without panting? Weird wasn't it, I thought we fly on broomsticks, or carpets? Mind you, I am saving for my Nimbus 2008.
Lastly they brought me to see the slumberland fairy who briefed me on the entire entry procedure.
Goosh this entry exam is no easy feat.

So Damp

The weather is damp.
The olympian arena is damp.
My eyes are damp.

As calm as a baby rocking in the crib

Yesterday I stood before the white coated judge.
As he read the verdict, he could not help but to notice my calmness.
He asked, "You have any question regarding your sentence? You seem particularly calm."
With a smile I replied, "It must be my religion."
That night I was sleepless.
I was thinking, is it really because of the strength I find in my religion, or is it because things cannot be any worse?
In any case I have accepted my lot.

The Calafare-less Video

One fateful Saturday night, TL sprung an attack on me with her tear gas grenade when she presented me the Calafare-less video.
The video is a 3 minutes animated record of our 12 years of friendship.
It features none other then myself and TL
And TL painstaking integrated all our photos, my favorite songs, my voice recording, my handwriting and all her favorite quotes.
It is marvelous! Thank you TL! I love the video!
P.S. There is no calafare in this video, we are both leads.

Patriotism Vs Work

Can someone just relay my message to Jade Seah?
Yes we are patriotic, we wanna lend our support to our national hero, but we need to work!
No way can we catch that match at 10am in the morning!
Unless.....(use a little of your imagination)
In any case Li J W 加油!

He came in 1st in the Mister Ugly Singapore pageant

I alway hear people talking about how ugly singaporeans are.
I truly experienced that uglyness today!
Boarding the bus after a tiring day at work, I was expecting a seat on my flight to slumberland.
And there he was, Mister Ugly Singapore. He paid the price for one but occupied the seats for two. One for his ugly buttocks and the other for his tattered bag.
But because I was worn out, I can't be bothered with him. I simply gave him a killer stare and moved to the rear.
Shortly after, an ah pey, probably in his 70s, walked down the aisle.
He stood right in front of him trying to balance himself and wagging his white plastic bag.
And alla Mister Ugly Singapore was indifferent to the dancing ah pey!
He simply exchanged a few glances with him.
Finally he uttered those ugly words in what des called bad enguish
Solli 我的bag很重.
Wat theeeeee #&!^%&!^
To conclude I walked over, and ushered the ah pey to my pathetic seat at the rear and gave Mister Ugly Singapore the loudest ziek (a sound i make when i am frustrated) ever.

P.S. Nice people like me still exists kekekeke